Journey to Dirty 30

Ok, I can't believe in 5 days I will be exiting my 20's and entering a new stage of life :My 30's.
When I was younger I actually wrote out the numbers 1-65 and wrote where I should be in life and got rather upset because I found out the first few years are spent between going to school studying things that will never get used in my daily life and also I researched how long I would have to stay if I went to College and the age I would be when I begin my super career in life because ALL the adults told us that when you further your education you will live in a suburban neighborhood, never have money problems and just before you turn 30; you may just had one baby or get ready to start having kids, looking back I remember crying because I felt  most of our life is spent doing things other people want us to do, like going to school,  how to work people telling us what trends are the best for us . Early on I knew I wanted to live life I could be happy about, without regrets.
Boy was I wrong, I have been through so many hard times broken hearts, and some of my dreams have been shattered.
It's funny cause last year I was upset about hitting this mark in life, worrying about all the should of could of, lol, but with only five days left I am happy about where I am,  and I am going to list them.
1. I learn how to love because I always searched for love but never knew the meaning or right way to love and when I did , I was able to get married in 2010 to the man I fell in love over 10yrs ago, I always wanted him and I'm proud we made it happen
2. I had the opportunity to experience being pregnant, thou I do not have any child living with me, I thank God for those moments.
3. I thank God for giving me the strength to escape and survive  Domestic Abuse it started when I was 14 years old and I ended the cycle at 20 years old.
4. I also thank God for allowing the same man who abused me to stop stalking me 3 years after the domestic abuse.
5. I am grateful that I went back to school a few times to learn a few trades.
6. I am grateful that I am able to with my experiences in life I can share my life story and mentor other people to avoid some of the pit falls I fell into.
And much more :)

 It's funny  a lot of people never tell you that when you turn 30 that you feel like you just been born all over again,  I feel more sexy, vibrant, settled and happier not to mention more grounded. look back at 18-25 yrs old, I feel like my brain was on vacation, I was so stupid and stubborn, but now I listen more and I am more open to a lot of stuff.
I have a long and happy future ahead of myself and I can not wait to dive into it with my new revised list of life goals.
Well, until next time HAPPY BDAY 2 ALL MY FELLOW VIRGO'S AND ALSO MYSELF
BE SAFE HAPPY AND ENJOY LIFE!!!!!

Random Thinking

Hey world, well it's been about three months and I am just making it back to write again, today I just feel so empty inside, I don't have a clue how to express my emotions right now, I am constantly alone, nobody seems to call me anymore. I know it sounds crazy because I know everybody has a lot going on right now like one of my friends T.W. She is leaving the state because she found her "Prince Charming" I am so happy for her and I will miss our friendship.
My  other friend J.P. she is already married w/ children, but she is so career driven these days, it's like we aren't friends, I haven't hear or seen here since I got married, smh things are different.
My friend who is like a sister to me D.T.  she is my world, we can text, & talk on the phone every now and then  but I guess I need more.

This week my bro-n-law and a friend of my husband came to visit from 2 different states, I love the fact that we have guess but I am now back to feeling left out again, it's what I expected but, I am finding me asking myself why am I always alone, I always seem to be oust  out of things.

The funny part about how I feel, it seems like  I may of reach the part in my life where my biological clock is ticking so loud, it's creating tide waves,lol,  but there is  is one problem; I need to have IVF, and all I have saved is a few flies and some lint, (I know it's sad yea it's sad)
I know its sad I just didn't think that I would want to start a family anytime soon, 2 years ago that was all I was talking about but because of personal issues I got depressed and devastated.
I have some many questions on how to get the money for my unborn baby, like how do I fun raise, how to get donations are there support groups???

I hope to find a solution soon, because I feel like I am nothing without family. :(

Moving

I don't know what it is about moving that can make you go insane, First there's  getting that list and checking it a good ole six or 15 times, then everything in  your house organized after that it's trying to figure out just what is coming or going seriously, then it's taking apart furniture, booking the moving trunk (I do advice booking it early and do get the Largest one, you never know just how much stuff you will have in there.)
Then it's calling all you really cool friends ( to be honest on moving day you will see how many real friends or family members you have) For the friends that  do help you out please take good care of them that day you are at their mercy. I had only one person who helped us move and we treated him to whatever he wanted and I cooked a nice dinner for him three days later.
But  after the move is when the biggest  drama begins... Unpacking
I have never be so emotional and tired like this in all my life and I have move numerous times. And after this move I probably wont move for a  few years, because all I do is sleep right now, so far the house is coming a long fine, I have to buy some things like a dinette set, some plants new couch cover, and a few lamps, but other then that now we have to get a car because one of my new neighbors thought it would be a good idea to break our car window and dent it, sigh it's going to be a long year here..... Wish us luck and pray for us

Neighbors From Hell

Sorry it's taking me so long to write I am actually in the progress of moving, when I started this blog my whole object was to get out a lot of feelings,stories, funny moments and events that spark my interest will here goes, lol.

One problem that has been boggling my mind is why do people have to be so rude to there own kind? Like my current neighbors for example,( I do not know them and giving the current events I do not wish to know them either) They moved in downstairs less then a month ago and on day one, they became a problem, I understand making noise when you first move in but playing music so loud I feel like I am at a Chris Brown music concert ( btw, I do love Chris brown, but I am talking about the loud Bass!!) Then it's the continuous fighting Yes her boyfriend beats her everyday, and them smoking weed, which sadly the smells comes into my house.

I feel like we live with THESE people with all the noise, but why is it when we tell our landlord about our complains they had the  nerve to come to our door to complain about us complaining to the landlord, Like HELLO, you are already late on your first month rent and causing trouble and drama!!! ( calling the cops is not an option because they of what happened when we called our landlord,Yes they also sell drugs in front of our houses, it's sad enough someone hit him in the face with a gun, talk about being scared to go out my house now!!

The situation has honestly gotten worst this young girl bangs on my door after my husband leaves for work acting like she is going to fight me because her friends come over everyday, but refuses to say anything when I actually have to leave the house, I do not like drama or talk with people who walk around with like life owes them something,  My husband and I  work hard for everything we have, and I am the most nicest woman int he world, I refuse to be a walking door mat, in fact I don't even have a welcome mat at my door, if you have my home number I want people to call to get my approval to come in. But honestly why would you be rude to you neighbor when they don't deal with you, Throwing trash at their door, and more, I( would call the police but it will just get worse, I know these people are extremely ghetto and my parents didn't not raise me to be like that, I refuse to lower myself so someone who doesn't have a clue about how the world views people who can not conduct themselves in these society which judges you by not just by the color of your skin but also by your educational and  also the area where you came from.

I worked so hard  not  to be categorized into the slot of people who are troublemakers, and  low lives, that is why I am moving from this area, I refuse to be near people who have that crab in the barrel effect. I refuse to let the environment or people who live around me define the person that I am.
I know a lot of people will not agree with what I am saying but I can't be bullied everyday by people who are into illegal actives who want me to remain silent, this matter I leave into God's hands, cause I know I am not wrong for wanting to live in peace.

My Question: How Would You Deal With Neighbors Who Are Nothing But Trouble?
Until Next Time Be Safe and Have Peace
                                                       ~Kisses~